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ocd and ephebophile
October 13, 2021
4:15 am
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kiwi101
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October 13, 2021
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Sorry for the long post and grammatical errors.

I am a girl who recently turned 19 and having ocd from past one year.Initially,it was about incest and thoughts related to my family but now my ocd changed the topics.Before all of this i regularly read and masturbated to hentai and most of them would feature a girl of nearly my age and a male usually older(like a teacher or someone else).I didn't use to think much about the age gap till i turned 18 and a half but now it really bothers me.It makes me feel as if i am a sex offender or something like that, it fills me up with so much fear and guilt.Furthermore,when i was 17 or just turned 18,I read and masturbated to a hentai in which the male was just 15 and the female was a teacher in her early 20s.I am feeling guilty for reading something like that but up until now I thought that the male was 17/18. It was only after i checked that the actual age of the male in the manga that i got to know this and all of this happened because i just skipped the part and went to the sex scene.I also remembered that i thought the male character looked good.I would never think about havind sex with a 15 year old and now i am so much terrified of myself.

Now,I feel that what if i am an ephebophile in denial and this truly disgusts me. I just don't know what to do and I am also feeling so much troubled to the point that I am having sucidal thoughts.

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